Floor Wax Day

On August 13th 2006, a team of possibly illegal aliens entered the precinct, with two goals: Wax the floor and make all the agents high as kites!

They arrived late in the evening and when the team arrived early the next morning, the agent's knew something was different. The first thing that was apparent was that everything everyone said, was the funniest thing EVAR! There was also an inability to concentrate and general clumsiness, followed by craving massive amounts of Gummby's pizza.

It would take many hours for the team to put the facts together. Some how after being stoned on floor wax fumes and laughing until we cried, we did not make sweet sweet love on the freshly polished floor.

My Birthday

For my birthday, I made sure to get the day off.

I awoke around 9:00am on 8/28/06 to my phone ringing. I was greeted by Anderson and Chief asking if I was planning on coming to work that day. I replied with, "no, it's my birthday".

They felt dumb.

No birthday lovin was had.

The Hog Accident

There was this one time, 7 days after I had moved to Madison, well I suppose that "moved" is a strong verb to use as I was living in a rented room with with none of my possessions, so lets say 7 days after I arrived in Madison, yeah that sounds better, I was involved in a vehicular accident of monumental proportions.

I was riding my bike now to work, when the side walk, attacked me and threw me to the ground. It doled out some nasty road rash, but I survived, some how.

I arrived at work and was greeted by Hauser. I asked her if you wanted to see my road rash. Overwhelmed by the massive damage inflicted upon me by the concrete and my bulging biceps, she found the courage to ask "How did that happen?", my response "Hog accident". We went about our work and didn't hit it.

The Great Flood of 2006

A few days after chief started working at 915, there was a string of thunderstorms that caused some flooding downtown. In particular was the day of the Great Flood; the first flood of downtown Madison.

I made this mspaint picture to chronicle the adventure of a bucket that got sucked out to sea from behind Jimmy John's.

Then, the next day, there was the mysterious "tornado" that apparently only I saw. Also, not documented in a photo, was the time the telephone pole next to Gumby's got hit by lightning. I'm pretty convinced I saw it go through the precinct and I most definitely screamed.

I was pretty convinced that it was only a matter of time before we all died from flood or tornado or lightning, but alas, chief and I did not do it.

Day One

Alright, so the first time EVER that me and chief didn't do it was July 24th, 2006. It was chief's first day at precinct 915 and Gatton was showing him the ropes. I had a question about how to write an insurance estimate, and my new chief replied to my question with a curt, don't-you-know-how-to-do-your-job-stupid? response. That pissed me off and I decided that I didn't really like this new chief. Plus he was fat and I typically don't like fat people.

We most certainly did NOT do it after that.